The 40 things
by eppy192
Summary: Kathryn reads an interesting article, but does Chakotay really not know? JC
1. The list

Hi everyone, I'm in the middle of exams at the moment so i'll work on this when i have a minute, hopefully with regular updates once exams are over.

I don't own anything to do with Star Trek etc etc, so please don't sue me.

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Kathryn was tired, she'd pulled another double shift on the bridge today, and the majority of that time seemed to be spent avoiding Chakotay by whatever means possible. That included crawling through Jeffreys tubes to avoid corridors. She wasn't even sure if he'd realised that she was bothered by recent events. Voyager had had yet another scape with death and it had shook Kathryn to her core. She had realised that life was short and that maybe something more could finally be realised between her and Chakotay, the problem being, Chakotay seemed oblivious to her change of heart.

Kathryn decided with a sign that what was called for was a bath, turning the taps on Kathryn moved back to her living area, attempting to tidy her quarters a bit. She noticed the padd that contained a magazine that some of the ensigns in the science department had decided to write (She really should give them more work if they had time to edit a whole monthly magazine). The magazine would make for some light-reading whilst she enjoyed her bath. Kathryn sighed at the bath, enjoying the warm water after the tiring day. She savoured the sensation for a few moments before beginning to read through the magazine. One article in particular caught her attention.

**40 things you wish that you're boyfriend knew**

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

#2 When she misses you, she's hurting inside.

#3 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.

#4 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

#5 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.

#6 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.

#7 When she ignores you, give her your attention.

#8 When she pulls away, pull her back.

#9 When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.

#10 When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.

#11 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

#12 When she's scared, protect her.

#13 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

#14 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

#15 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.

#16 When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

#17 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

#18 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

#19 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

#20 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

#21 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.

#22 When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does.

#23 Keep the comm link open with her even if she's not saying anything.

#24 Don't let her have the last word.

#25 Call her gorgeous or beautiful.

#26 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

#27 When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.

#28 When she says she's OK, don't believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 years later she'll still remember it.

#29 Call on her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

#30 Call on her before you sleep and after you wake up.

#31 Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

#32 Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.

#33 Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

#34 Watch her favourite holovid with her even if you think its stupid.

#35 Let her into your world.

#36 Let her wear your clothes.

#37 When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

#38 Let her know she's important.

#39 When you see her crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking today?"

#40 After she reads this, she hopes one day you'd read it too.

Kathryn considered how much she hoped that Chakotay would realise a few if not all of these things, but then again, he wasn't her boyfriend, yet....


	2. Number 1

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

Kathryn Janeway sat alone in her quarters. She enjoyed some time to herself, but she knew that she would much prefer to have the company of a particular handsome first officer than ever be alone. There had been a time not too long ago when he would have spent the evening with her, they would have talked and laughed and enjoyed one another's company. Something had shifted recently. Kathryn was unsure what it was but Chakotay was pulling away from her and it was breaking her heart, more so than even when they had had to go back to Captain and Commander after New Earth.

Kathryn desperately wanted Chakotay to come after her, if he did then at least she would know that he still cared.

Kathryn finally crawled into bed around midnight exhausted from her day, avoiding Chakotay had only succeeded in making her day more challenging than it needed to be. Lying alone Kathryn considered if the man was really worth all the pain that he was causing her. He had been with other women over their journey as much as it had broken her heart.

A realisation hit Kathryn during her thoughts of her first officer, he had broke her heart in the past, but maybe, if they could start something new, her heart could start to heal. A new found hope filled Kathryn Janeway and the pain of heart break faded just a little, it was a start.


End file.
